This Is The Best Cruise You've Ever Been On
I love family. Family take you as you are and allow you to be what you will. No matter what happens, they’ll be there for you. That all being said, why do we dread family time? Sometimes it feels forced, right? Oh well, its just part of life. Most of my family experiences are good. I do really enjoy hanging out. However, the later made me weary of a late summer experience: Cruise to Bermuda from Boston with all of Teresa’s family. Me, the in laws, and a boat. I was looking forward to the trip but a bit weirded out by the whole cruising thing. My instincts didn’t fail me.
Bermuda is not close to Long Beach. In fact, they are relatively close to different oceans. Not to mention, Boston isn’t really on the way from one to the other. None of this bothers me, I like traveling. I can now say I was 6000 or so miles from one stop to another within a few weeks (Hawaii/Bermuda). Anyway, Teresa and I took the early morning Baby Express one way from LAX to Logan. You move west, you have kids, Mom needs to see them. Such is life.
John and Alicia picked us up from Logan, and I am grateful. They’ve got a ton more luggage then us, but its cool. We can all squeeze into the two door Accord. Marshfield here we come.
I don’t want to give the wrong impression, I was totally excited to see Teresa’s family. They are fun loving and warm people. As soon as we arrive at Dad (Charlie) and Mom's (Lisa) house, we are greeted like Royalty. For dinner, we are treated to a sweet spread at the local Japanese house. “Oh Charlie, very good customer!”
The next morning, we all pile into a bus/limo for the direct ride to Black Falcon Terminal. I felt like James Bond catching a 100ft yacht with a port name like Black Falcon Terminal. Alas, it was just the Norwegian Dream. I’d like to continue with my 007 dream because this sea ferrying ride was bad.
As Teresa and I explored our state room we found pea in the toilet, hair on the wall, bud light caps on the floor, two beds, and finger nails. It was a germaphobes nightmare. Teresa about crucified the front desk with a murderous complaint call. We had to wait around for staff to re-clean the room.
From Boston to Bermuda is about two days. The next two days I was treated to hysterical events. The food was comical. It was mostly large quantities of Golden Corral quality buffet goodies. You never really had anything to do, so we’d have breakfast, pre-lunch, lunch, snack, pre-dinner and dinner. The only semblance of a meal occurred at dinner. I think my favorite was the Trattoria. That is saying a lot. Again, the family saved the situation. I really enjoyed dining with good conversation from Uncle Howie, Cousin David and others. If I had to choose between Denny's and Norwegian Cruise Lines, I’d choose Denny's. Grand Slams are healthy and filling.
As long as there is beer, you don’t really need food. I practically survived on helmets of Bud Light. Yes, you’d get six at a time in a plastic helmut. Excuse me, five at a time with one free. While guzzling for sanity, I mean casually drinking your beer, the musical stylings of Top Two ran the party on the deck. You know its gonna be good when the lead singer introduces the first set with, “I’m recently divorced, its time to party.” She and her master of the synthesizer partner proceeded to play Sheryl Crow and the Beach Boys on repeat for two and half days. ”...This is LA, Hit It!” Actually, we are about 50 miles east of South Carolina and I am about to swim for it. The only thing holding me back was Captain Romero (and possible the huge cans of Fosters).
During our seafaring adventure, Captain Romero would grace our ears with his wildly exotic Norwegian accent. We’d get weather reports, casino updates and destination tips from this voice in sky. He was a rock in a time of disarray, until we hit land.
Here is where the trip got Awesome. Bermuda is no joke. Its beautiful. We sailed into St. Georges, and I’m amazed. The harbor is dotted with small islands and blue water. All substantial pieces of land are covered with pastel colored cottages. The landscape rolls from sand to palm tree. I wanted to jump off the boat and see whats up. The only thing in my way was Captain Romero. He was dressed as a Porpoise. You had to take a picture with him at the end of the gang-plank. As you tensed up and tried to smile, he’d grab you with his flippers and make a high pitched squeak that would have brought cats to their knees. They can hear frequencies we cant, I think. Thank God I am not a girl. Those flippers went some private places I can’t mention here. How could a Caption also double as a sleazy land greeter? I guess that is the Norwegian way.
The next two days were perfect. The cousins and I explored Horseshoe Bay. We even rocked the surf in Warwick Long Bay. I really love good surf and this open ocean island had some of the best. Not to mention the blue water and spectacular views. We perused the shops in Hamilton and grabbed a few beers at Flanagans. I even rode a high speed ferry from Hamilton to St. Georges. One night, we checked out the bar scene in St. Georges. The beer was expensive. It was about $7 US for a Bud Light. Ugh. Plus, the locals were a bit strange. They were a bit aggressive for our laid back vacation demeanor. I had a better time during day. The entire family visited Grotto Bay. Its a picturesque little spot with calm waters. It was perfect for sunbathing and enjoying a few drinks. Even more impressive was St. Catharines. It was complete with thatched hut beach bar, wide white sand beach, perfect water and endless sun. The entire family enjoyed the day in the water and indulged in a Red Stripe or two. We capped off the experience with an earlier dinner on the hill near Tobacco Bay. This bar had 270 degree views of blue water and paradise. Perfect. I didn’t want to get back onto the boat…
We had to get back to Boston somehow, so we entrusted Captain Romero and his flippers to guide us back North. The Top Two serenaded us with more of the same six tunes. I mixed my day up a bit and spent an entire afternoon with David at the swim-up bar. That was a great time. A few helmets were finished.
Finally, we arrived back to Boston. Everyone was completely tired. I was so relieved to step foot back on to land. I had an wonderful time. I talk a lot of trash about the boat. Don’t get me wrong, it deserves it. I do want to make clear, I had so much fun with the family. I’d travel with the Bacewicz’s anywhere. They know how to make any situation fun. I enjoyed every moment.
